DRUNK IN TECH

Study: We Drunk-Text Because Our Intoxicated Selves Don’t Give a Crap About Repercussions

You know you're texting dumb things, you just don't care.
The average young American human prepares to send a drunk text. (via wzlx.radio.com)

The average young American human prepares to send a drunk text. (via wzlx.radio.com)

This news won’t un-send the terrible drunk texts you unleashed in a blackout. But it might give you some insight into why you decided to, say, wastedly emasculate your ex via iPhone in the first place.

A recent study shows that alcohol “dulls the brain’s ‘alarm signal’ that warns you when you are making a mistake,” news.com.au reports. “These dulled warnings are what leads to the loss of self-control we often regret after one too many.”

The study consisted of researchers, led by Bruce Bartholow, giving booze to one third of their 67 participants. Another third got no alcohol, and the remaining third received a placebo beverage, news.com.au reports. The participants then completed a computer challenge “that was designed to cause errors.”

People who drank booze “were as aware as the placebo and non-alcohol group that they were making an error,” news.com.au reports. This proves that “alcohol doesn’t inhibit our ability to know what we’re doing, but rather, our inability to give a damn.”

This explains pretty perfectly why drunk people have been known to start fights for no reason, joyfully fling their shoes through the air, drunkenly profess their lust for otherwise platonic friends via voicemail and, yes, drunk text. Their inhibitions are intact; they simply DGAF.

Of course, some tech types have tried to disrupt this particular first-world problem. Hopefully, there will soon be a solution we can all agree on — besides just not drinking, because let’s be realistic.

(h/t Cosmopolitan)

Follow Molly Mulshine on Twitter or via RSS. mmulshine@observer.com