Tech Dirty to Me

Does Anyone Actually Want This ‘Revolutionary’ Female Masturbation Glove?

It looks awkward, and might not be as effortless as it sounds.

Perhaps in an attempt to cash in on the viral success of the Autoblow 2, a new purportedly “revolutionary” sex toy for women launched a crowdfunding campaign on Indiegogo last week.

It’s called the Glov  — a silicon rubber glove that “provides [users] with a superior way to masturbate,” according to the campaign page. The Glov features a port on the underside of the fingers where users can attach a rabbit vibrator or dildo, and thereby manipulate the toys with just their fingers, as opposed to their full arms. Once the attachment is fastened to the port, its vibrations can be controlled by buttons on the back of the Glov.

The Glov’s purpose is to eliminate the awkwardness of controlling your vibrator with your entire arm, the campaign page explains:

Currently, every self-penetration device on the market requires the user to hold and operate it in an unnatural and straining way. It requires the user to grip the device at its base, hold it at a 90 degree angle, and incorporate the whole arm in order to create the rhythmic in and out motion. The Glov uses unparalleled innovation and game changing, patent-pending technology to offer a simple, fresh solution.

When TechCrunch covered the Glov’s debut last week, they acknowledged the device’s unsightly appearance, but posited that “it might actually solve a ‘pain point.'” Still, we have our doubts that the Glov can actually #disrupt the awkward points of female masturbation.

In the campaign’s demo video, Glov CEO and cofounder Steven Scrase attempts to demonstrate why controlling a sex toy’s in-and-out motions with your fingers is easier than using your arm.

“Try it with me: extend your arm all the way out, make a fist, and mimic the motion of a traditional sex toy,” Mr. Scrase says in the video. “Now stop your arm, and use the first three fingers and flex them up and down. Based on this motion, we developed the Glov… The idea is simple: eliminate the need to hold the device with the hand. The Glov’s design achieves this goal, which means maximum stimulation with minimum effort.”

But will it actually require minimum effort? Sure, when you’re miming the motions in mid-air, it’s definitely easier to move three fingers than to move your whole arm. But how about when you’re pushing a five-inch dildo in and out of a human vagina, and at a fast enough speed to actually get you off? Surely that’d result in some serious finger cramping, no? I can’t help but foresee some serious Charlie horses in users’ palms.

Also, the buttons to control the vibrator and dildo attachments are located on the back of the Glov. That means that in order to control the attachments’ vibrations, wearers need to use their other hand, too, to reach over and press the buttons. It sounds like more of a two-handed than three-fingered operation, tbh.

If you truly want to make a revolutionary, “minimum effort” vibrator, come up with something that doesn’t require you to move your hand at all — some kind of device that takes care of the in-and-out motion for you. Maybe even invent a sex robot. Actually, maybe not.

The Glov’s crowdfunding campaign launched eight days ago, and has only raised $3,260 — or nine percent — of its $38,000 goal. With 39 days left in the funding period, the toy isn’t on track to meet its goal. I guess not every weird-looking sex toy that claims to be “revolutionary” will necessarily be an instant crowdfunding success story. I wonder, though: are potential donors being turned off by the Glov’s aforementioned drawbacks, or is the Internet just more interested in financing a male sex toy than a female one? I’ll have to examine this when the Glov completes in funding period.

Though we’re not sure the Glov is going to revolutionize women’s masturbation experiences, we still have to give the company some credit, because they’re communicating an awesome message:

The Glov represents an important step forward for female self-satisfaction. Masturbation is still often thought of as something embarrassing or dirty for women (it’s 2014 and unacceptable)! By making it easier and more pleasurable for women to use sex toys, we are also empowering women to freely play and do it more often!

Amen to that.

Follow Jordyn Taylor on Twitter or via RSS. jtaylor@observer.com