The Russians

Russia Can’t Find Its Gecko Sex Satellite

Sad.
Gonna die soon. (Photo: Flickr)

Gonna die soon. (Photo: Flickr)

Some gecko parents are going to be sad tonight. The Russian space agency has reportedly lost contact with a satellite containing a batch of geckos somewhere in space and they’re likely going to die.

The Guardian reports the geckos were participating in a two-month experiment about how space’s weightlessness adversely effects their sex lives. A source told Russia’s Interfax news agency that mission control couldn’t re-establish communications with the satellite, and the prospects of reconnecting with it are small. On board are four female geckos and one male gecko who will die within the next two months from hunger.

It’s the latest blow to Russia’s shitty space agency. In May, a Proton-M rocket exploded shortly after take-off, and a few weeks later, another spacecraft aborted liftoff while it was being aired live on state TV.

We’ll light a candle for the fallen geckos tonight.

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Tags: The Russians