Kim Jong Ummm

North Korea Debuts Mushroom-Based Sports Drink to ‘Enhance Physical Ability’

Putting the fun back in fungus!
Blueprints for mushroom stuff. (Photo: NKNews.org)

Blueprints for mushroom stuff. (Photo: NKNews.org)

North Korean scientists have invented a most supreme alternative to evil western Gatorade: a revitalizing sports drink made from mushrooms.

“They succeeded in finding the way to cultivate mushroom fungus and made a functional drink,” North Korea’s state news agency reported. “This natural drink is very effective in enhancing physical ability of sportspersons and recovering from their fatigues.”

Seems legit.

The undoubtedly delicious drink was developed at North Korea’s Central Mushroom Research Institute of the State Academy of Sciences, a new research facility visited by Kim Jong Un last October.

“It is a mushroom research center built according to the noble intention of Kim Jong Un making a new history of industrialization of mushroom growing,” a report from Kim Jong Un’s visit said.

There’s now a “brisk drive for mushroom production in different parts of the country,” the October report said, suggesting that sports drinks might be the first in a long line of North Korean mushroom-based products. Can we expect fungus-flavored toothpaste? Eau-de-portobello perfume? Maybe Kim Jong Un is actually just a giant mushroom. Who knows!

We’ll be sure to test out the sports drink┬áthe next time we plan a fabulous North Korean vacation.

(h/t The Guardian)

Follow Jordyn Taylor on Twitter or via RSS. jtaylor@observer.com