uber? But I just met her

There’s Now An ‘Uber For Things,’ In Case You Have Way Too Much Money

The courier service costs more than your typical cab ride.
"You can't sit with us" (Photo: File)

“You can’t sit with us” (Photo: File)

Because sometimes you just have to have a cupcake from that one artisanal bakery that pretends it doesn’t know what Seamless is, Uber has debuted a courier service.

“It’s an Uber for things,” general manager of Uber NYC Josh Mohrer is quoted as saying by CNBC. That’s right. An Uber for things.

Most of us can’t even afford the Uber for people, especially if it’s some kind of weather out or it’s a drinking holiday. And now they’ve gone and made an Uber for inanimate objects?

This means that at any given moment after the app debuts tomorrow, there will be a generic food item or stack of papers flying around the city, carefree, with its own Uber-trained chaperone, on a journey that costs more than your daily Subway commute. Yay, meritocracy!

How much more? Well, each delivery, completed on foot or by bicycle, will run you $15 to $30 depending on distance covered — more than most cab rides we’ve had in our day. Who knew schlepping stuff around on a fixed-gear could be so profitable.

Follow Molly Mulshine on Twitter or via RSS. mmulshine@observer.com