XXX in Tech

New Orgasm Machine Will Make You Climax at the Touch of a Button

They should seriously consider calling it the Insta-gasm.

This new machine can do this for you! (Getty)

This new machine can do this for you! (Getty)

Science is seriously amazing, you guys: a surgeon in North Carolina has invented a device that would let women give themselves orgasms at the touch of a button. 

This new machine is way more serious than a mere vibrator disguised as an alarm clock or USB drive. According to the Daily Mail, it involves attaching electrodes to a woman’s spinal cord, which would connect to a small signal generator implanted under the skin of her bum. Using a hand-held remote control, the woman could then tell the implant when, exactly, to give her an orgasm.

The technology was created by Stuart Melroy, a surgeon in North Carolina. Official medical trials are set to take place at a Minneapolis-based medical technology company called Medtronic

Sadly, you won’t be able to pick this up at a Babeland store near you, as implanting the device requires a surgical procedure. Dr. Melroy said the technology is as invasive as a pacemaker, and is therefore really only meant to treat serious cases of orgasmic dysfunction. 

The Daily Mail spoke with another doctor, however, who predicted that if teenagers (why just teenagers?) are willing to get boob jobs, they’d probably be willing to have orgasm surgery, too. Kids these days!

Follow Jordyn Taylor on Twitter or via RSS. jtaylor@observer.com

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