Kickstart This

Man Does Kickstarter Project To Buy A Chipotle Burrito

The phrase "Burrito Deliciousness Graph" now exists.

Science. (Photo: Kickstarter)

Math. (Photo: Kickstarter)

Ah Kickstarter, a vast wasteland of ideas purported by money hungry and lazy people who don’t want to leave their computers. And occasionally some of them are hungry, like Noboru Bitoy who created a campaign begging people to pay for his meal from Chipotle.

In what’s either the most clever or caloric idea ever, Mr. Bitoy writes that he wants to find out out how tasty a Chipotle burrito is (he’s calling it the “Burrito Deliciousness Graph”) and wants your money to do it:

“Just how delicious is a chicken burrito from my local Chipotle? I will find & display the answer in a creative presentation,” he writes.

There’s no reason for why he’s doing this other than that he can. 

With an $8 target, the goal was quickly reached. And, as promised, he made a video fawning over the sodium-filled meat rocket. But when he noticed that people wouldn’t stop donating, he pivoted his Kickstarter campaign.

Now it’s a way to deliver a nonstop conveyor belt of Chipotle right into his face hole while pretending he’s doing you  a service of taste tests. How kind.

For $50, Mr. Bitoy will buy four burritos and consume them over the following days as a test “to truly see how the burrito flavor is changed when it is a leftover meal.” And for $175 pledged, he’ll devour 24 variations of a chicken burrito and included a colorful infographic to help you map the flavorful walkabout. 

With 24 days to go, he’s $30 shy of reaching his final goal. We’re guessing his appeal for a kale smoothie cleanse begins on day 25. 

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