If you pine for the days when halftime meant chugging a Poland Springs bottle full of Popov atop the bleachers while making fun of your high school’s cheerleaders and clarinetists, you’re in luck.
Uber is sending spirit squads and bands around as part of their Get Hyped For Halftime
publicity stunt initiative. On Jan. 28 and 29, the disruption-happy taxi service will send you six band members and six cheerleaders wherever you are. Simply request “HALFTIME” in your Uber app between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m.
They’ll only be available in Manhattan, south of 57th Street, and not in Times Square. Demand will be high, Uber points out, and availability limited, just like that time they traveled from NYC office to NYC office with a coterie of kittens all day, or when they offered to deliver Christmas trees at $135 a pop. It could take a few tries to get the performers to turn up in your office.
It’s worth a shot, though. What it lacks in the dulcet tones of this year’s actual halftime performer Bruno Mars, the show will surely make up for in Jock Jams-esque snare drum beats.