uber it

Uber Slashes Fares In Cities That Aren’t New York

We never thought we'd be jealous of Minneapolis.
GET OUT

GET OUT

When stumbling upon this Uber blog post, you may have clicked and scrolled through, thinking to yourself, This is it, Uber has lowered its fares, I don’t have to spend 15 minutes walking from the G to my apartment laden with groceries, gym clothes and a laptop anymore. I can finally afford Uber!

Then you got to the bottom and realized, nope, sry, nah. Uber is cutting prices 15 to 34 percent — but basically everywhere except NYC.

They’re doing it in L.A., Chicago, San Francisco, Seattle, Phoenix and Orange County. They’re also reducing prices in Minneapolis, Atlanta, Sacramento, Tucson, Indianapolis, Denver, Dallas, Baltimore, Charlotte and Nashville.

Lame. Uber is striving to be “the cheapest ride in town” at those locales, the blog says. “Cheaper than a taxi, cheaper than every ridesharing option in every city, cheaper than the bus.”

Guess we New Yorkers will just have to keep lugging our junk like two‐legged pack mules and praying the yellow cabs slash their prices, then happen into our no‐man’s‐land Brooklyn neighborhoods.

Fine, Uber. Give all those podunk towns discounted rates. We’ll just be sitting pretty in New York with our cronuts, our Beyoncé (she lives here), and our reliable public transport systems.

Follow Molly Mulshine on Twitter or via RSS. mmulshine@observer.com