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Man With Two Penises Answers Reddit’s Pervy Questions

"I know it's gonna be a good year when the first AMA I read is a guy with two dicks."

screen shot 2014 01 02 at 9 52 09 am Man With Two Penises Answers Reddits Pervy QuestionsSometimes the Ask Me Anything subreddit is a heartwarming and educational space, filled with the charming tales of 91-year-old WWII veterans, blind marathon runners and Braille transcribers.

Other times—last night, for instance—it’s a place where the conversation gets so weird, it makes you wish you just stuck to watching the fourth hour of the Today Show.

DoubleDickDude is a Redditor who, as you might have guessed, is the proud possessor of two penises—like, two normal-sized, fully functioning, sex-having penises. “I’m the guy with 2 penises,” DoubleDickDude wrote at the top of his AMA post. “Both are 100% functional. It is Diphallia, not an absorbed twin. It’s not genetic or inherited. I am bisexual and in a committed relationship with a man and a woman.” 

For hours Redditors literally asked him anything, from urinal etiquette, to blowjob questions, to whether “they both hang to one side of your pants, or do they split the seam?” (They split the seam, duh.) Because we care about your productivity, and want to save you from the disturbing-yet-freakishly-captivating black hole into which we’ve been sucked, we picked out some highlights.

On women and men’s reactions: “…for the most part, girls were nervous and some changed their mind at the last minute. dudes NEVER change their mind, they always want it even if they’re freaked out a little. lol”

On his current polyamorous relationship: “They were a couple before they mutually started dating me. She is straight, and he is bisexual and discovered he was when after four months of them both knowing me, they found out about my cocks. It clicked and we’ve been together since.”

On public bathrooms: “I generally avoid public bathrooms and if I do use one i try to use the stall and not a wall urinal. There’ve been times where I’ve had to use the urinal and because i have one muscle that controls my piss, it lets the stream flow out both my dicks. so unless i pinch off one of them it comes out both and that doesnt feel good. So I have to take both out to pee. Yeah Ive gotten stares and even had a few guys at various times go HOLY SHIT.”

On putting both penises inside a woman at once: “[It went] very nicely, she complained later though that her cervix was poking out and that her hole was huge. she kept coming back for more at least for 3 months. lol”

By the climax, if you will, of the conversation, plenty of Redditors seemed unusually aroused for a round of Ask Me Anything, declaring things like “I’m so turned on right now” and “Not gonna lie, as a gay man your equipment is really hot!” Many deemed it the greatest Ask Me Anything of all time, and took it as a sign that 2014 is going to be way better than 2013.

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