TTYL 2013

Twerking GIFs, Teslas and TWTR: Tech’s Top Google Searches in 2013

Kim Kardashian pregnant, Kate Middleton pregnant, what is twerking? Jennifer Lawrence GIFs, Lil Bub (this is how SEO works, right?)
Okay Bradley we see you. (Screengrab: Google.com)

Okay Bradley we see you. (Screengrab: Google.com)

It’s that time of year! Google has released the year-end numbers for searches and top trends in 2013. Betabeat has pored over the lists and separated the wheat from the gluten-free chaff to bring you this year’s most popular in tech.

Do note that some of the lists represent most popular search terms, while others are top trends, which means they had “the largest increase in search volume since the previous period.”

TECHY SURPRISES

Ms. Sandberg.

Ms. Sandberg.

• The iPhone 5s took the number five top trending spot overall this year, between Cory Monteith and government shutdown.

• There were no tech luminaries under the most searched people or trending people lists, so better luck next year, Sean Parker.

• Cyber Monday was the second most searched annual event, just behind Black Friday. Both of these made-up consumerist rituals beat out the actual holidays on the list like Chinese New Year, Yom Kippur and the LA Auto Show.

• The number one book was Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, which took the top spot despite being the only tech related tome. Get it for your cousin who’s a smug stay-at-home-mom for Christmas. She’ll love it!

Is that a new car or are you just happy to see me? (Screengrab: plus.google.com/+TeslaMotors)

Is that a new car or are you just happy to see me? (Screengrab: plus.google.com/+TeslaMotors)

• The number one car company was Tesla, either because people are starting to care about conserving gasoline or because they mistook the company’s logo for a futuristic robot penis.

• Fake online college University of Phoenix was the most Googled college, which we guess makes sense because it’s online. Columbia and Cornell were the only Ivies to make the Top Ten.

BETABEAT’S FAVORITE NON-TECH TIDBITS

• Kim Kardashian bested Kate Middleton (and everyone else) for Most Googled Celebrity Pregnancy. Either this, or the fact that we’re keeping track of Googled celebrity pregnancies, is a harbinger of the apocalypse.

• People are Googling “Cotton Eye Joe,” the extremely unflattering line dance that made you really sweaty at middle school dances.

• The seventh most popular name for a girl on Google was Cadenza, so we are moving to Antarctica.

• The most popular search term on Google images was “Funny Pictures,” which is so adorable we want to squeeze everyone’s cheeks now. Also, the periodic table was number nine. Good job, guys!

ALL THE TECH LISTS

• We’ll start out with something light. Here are the most searched for GIFs of the year, with Twerk GIF taking the top spot. By the way, it’s a hard G.

• Here are the top dating sites. We predict Tinder will hit the top spot in years to come.

• Here are the top “Famous Internet Animals,” because these are the times we live in. Whatever, guys.

• The numbers for top Fortune 500 companies bode very well for tech, despite the fact that public interest does not always equal revenue. Just ask Snapchat.

• The top trending mobile and tablet apps. How could Bitstrips be more popular than Tinder and Snapchat? Do you guys not know about sexting?

• The top trending social media sites. Nice to see Goodreads at number six amid this sea of time-wasting, self-esteem-killing social networks.

• The top trending stocks were dominated by tech. That doesn’t mean they were worth anything, though.

• Here’s a bunch of gaming consoles, cell phones and tablets that are somehow all different from each other:

• And finally, Google’s list of the top trending “What Is…” questions of 2013. This assortment of weirdness really sums up the year.

Follow Molly Mulshine on Twitter or via RSS. mmulshine@observer.com