music is my boyfriend

The 10 Facts From Spotify’s Year in Review That Prove We’re All Basic As Hell

We need to work on our taste in music, America.
Macklemore. (Photo: Getty)

Macklemore. (Photo: Getty)

Spotify released its year-in-review numbers and damn, do Americans have some lame-ass taste in music. One might even call it basic.

The word “basic” has many definitions. Betabeat’s preferred meaning is “offering or consisting in the minimum required without elaboration or luxury; simplest or lowest in level” (ty, Google). So how’s this for basic: Macklemore and Ryan Lewis simply burned up the charts this year, and you won’t believe how many people listen to Maroon 5.

The music streaming giant divulged the listening habits of its 24 million worldwide active users through this tedious parallax-scrolling-ridden infographic. We combed through it, so you don’t have to. Here are the 10 most basic things we learned:

1. The most popular female and most popular male artists on Spotify are Rihanna (who is, okay fine, cool despite being basic) and Macklemore, respectively.

2. The most shared playlist is the Billboard 200. Truly, this is the most basic possible playlist, created exclusively for people who want to be absolutely positive that they’re listening to what everyone else is listening to, with no regard for quality or even genre.

3. Painfully earnest rapper-producer duo Macklemore and Ryan Lewis also held the top spots for most popular track, with generic-movie-trailer-theme-song “Can’t Hold Us,” and most popular album, with “The Heist.”

4. The most followed artist in New York City is Fun. Really, guys? Our fair city does redeem itself with this fact, though: NYC listens to Jay-Z 88 percent more than does the rest of the world, and our top radio station is hip hop.

5. The top five songs in the U.S. are, in order: “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons, “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, “Can’t Hold Us” (again) by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk and “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke. Cloudy with a chance of basic and hey, where are all the ladies?

6. The most streamed song in the last five years is “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, with more than 150 million streams. Okay, fine, Betabeat is responsible for a few of those streams, but what do you want from us? It’s catchy.

7. Other countries are also basic. London’s most followed artist in 2013 was, hilariously, Coldplay, but Londoners redeem themselves by listening to 162 percent more Fleetwood Mac than the rest of the world does.

8. Barcelona is by far the least basic city: their most followed artist is Love of Lesbian (?!) and their top radio station is “indie.”

9. Berlin is just confusing. Their most followed artist is Rammstein, of “Du Hast” fame, and their top radio station is hip hop. Couldn’t have called that one.

10. Taking home the crown for Most Basic City in the World is Singapore. This South Asian city-state listened to 281 percent more Maroon 5 than the rest of the world did in 2013.

Spotify’s infographic is worth scrolling through because at the bottom, you can sign into your account to examine your own questionable music taste by the numbers. With mentions of Jefferson Airplane, Bleached, and Wavves, Betabeat thought our indie/cool person cred was solidified. Then we got to our top playlist: the Great Gatsby soundtrack.

Whatever, sometimes the soul requires a manic Fergie collab.

Follow Molly Mulshine on Twitter or via RSS. mmulshine@observer.com