Bitcoin Mania

You Can Now Blow All Your Bitcoins on Fake Boobs in Miami

The bad news is you have to go to Florida.
(Photo: Getty)

#tech (Photo: Getty)

Bitcoin has been in the news a lot lately. Is it a legit form of currency? Can the government regulate it? Why are banks trying to harsh its vibe so hard? We don’t know. But what we do know is that you can now use it to buy breast implants in–where else?–Miami.

That’s right, all those Bitcoin miners spending their nebulous fortunes on cocaine and shitty $20 margaritas in South Beach can now fit in better at topless beaches by inflating their chests with silicone furnished by online currency. We’re talking about the dudes, by the way. Imagine the Winklevoss twins with matching sets of double-Ds.

But using Bitcoins to buy faux fun-bags is like using an AmEx black card to buy canned hot dogs and a Wet ‘n’ Wild lip gloss. It’s happening, though, the Daily Dot reports, at the aptly named Vanity Cosmetic Surgery.

Patients can also buy nose jobs, laser hair removal treatments and other plastic surgery, though, so it might actually be perfect for the legions of dateless nerds who actually obsess over and spend time mining Bitcoins.

But whatever, we at Betabeat are going to keep paying for our plastic surgery procedures using birthday money from our unsuspecting grandparents, like normal people.

Follow Molly Mulshine on Twitter or via RSS. mmulshine@observer.com