boobies

The App That Turns Your Selfies Into a Bra Size Is Now Available to the Boob-Having Public

Your cleavage is kind of a sideways duckface anyway.
Fresh Kate Middleton blowout not included. (Screengrab: Thirdlove.com)

Fresh Kate Middleton blowout not included. (Screengrab: Thirdlove.com)

Many women can recall their first bra fitting. Perhaps, at 10 years old, your mom dragged you to Macy’s. Perhaps a crotchety old saleslady pulled a threadbare tape measure taut around your newly formed bosom. Perhaps she then screeched out, “Nearly A!” to the entire second floor of Macy’s, and you were never able to visit that store’s intimates department without PTSD-like flashbacks ever again.

Or, maybe your bra-buying experience has only gone so far as to be mildly inconvenient. But these days, where there’s a mild inconvenience, there’s a cottage industry of tech startups looking to disrupt the whole thing, so bra apps are fully developing left and right. One such startup, ThirdLove, incorporates selfies into the bra-fitting process, because sure why not, and it just came out of beta to become available to breast-and-iPhone-havers everywhere.

With ThirdLove, users send two selfies of their bra-shodden chests–one from the front, one from the side–and hope the app’s databases never get hacked, thereby spilling their boob pics all over the Internet. Using the selfies, ThirdLove concocts a new, improved and weird-sounding size, like TL165, in about a minute, TechCrunch reports, because the startup is also trying to depart from what its founders believe is an obsolete 34A-through-D model.

Keep in mind that ThirdLove uses actual science to determine your size, so if some dude in a lab coat and glasses tells you he’s able to change your fit forever just by looking at a grainy cell phone pic of your sweater puppies, tell him to take a hike.

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