XXX in Tech

Get Your Morning Off to a Great Start With This Alarm Clock That’s Also a Vibrator

It's got to be better than the default tone in iOS 7.
Looks innocent enough. (Photo: littleroosterstore.com)

Looks innocent enough. (Photo: littleroosterstore.com)

Like something out of a Sex and the City 3 fanfic tweet, you can now use a high-tech vibrator as an alarm clock.

This cunning clock is guaranteed to put a little moaning in your morning (that’s supposed to be read in a Samantha Jones voice, in case you couldn’t tell). Known as the “Little Rooster,” it costs $64 and promises to stay put between the thighs all night long. Then, the device turns on just in time to turn you on, buzzing you awake so you can start your day feeling as relaxed as humanly possible.

The device is worn externally, with the wide part sitting directly atop the mons pubis and the more phallic portion extending south. It’s got some really great extra features, as well. From the Little Rooster website:

“Snooze: the classic lie-in.

Snorgasm: Little Rooster‘s power falls to a very low level so you fall in and out of “happy” slumber. Then the power slowly increases, waking you as sensually as before.

Travel lock. New Little Rooster vibrates in your panties, not in your purse.

Fully personalisable.  Adjust how gently the sensations start, how quickly they increase, how intensely they peak, the snorgasm level.

Rechargeable.  And built with green PWM technology.

Perfect for couples: you’ll both wake up smiling.

Play. For when it is time to take control.”

Also, “what makes Little Rooster really special is that delicious semi-conscious state when you are not yet quite awake. Other alarms tear those precious moments from you. Little Rooster not only lets you savour them, it makes them even dreamier.”

Does this mean your next mundane dream about high school could be rerouted into a dream about having sex with your old gym teacher?  That’s actually called a nightmare, but okay.

(h/t DangerousMinds.net)

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