Visiting Dignitaries

The Ballad of Martha Stewart’s iPad: Someone Please Help This Woman Out

"Of course I know that. I've been in Apple Stores."
She will end you. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014)

She will end you. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014)

Ex con and DIY O.G. Martha Stewart is having technical difficulties. On Wednesday evening, she announced via Twitter, “I just dropped my iPad on the ground and shattered two glass corners. What to do?does one call Apple to come and pick it up or do I take it?”

Normally, that’s the sort of tossed-off celebrity tweet that’s quickly forgotten. But Ms. Stewart kept going. Later she added, “I am still waiting for an apple rep to come pick up my IPad. No action yey” (sic throughout, btw). Fast forward a couple of hours and she was ready to go disruptive: “Maybe I have had a good entrepreneurial idea? Apple Now? Like same day delivery from Amazon?”

By this point, she’d racked up hundreds of retweets and bloggers were firing up their CMSes for posts about Martha’s big feud with Apple customer service. So she backtracked: “So is it time to put out the fires and admit I was just pissed off at the fact my precious ipad shattered and I wanted to make light of it??”

Oh, but wait for it!

After amusing and confusing most of Twitter with her unique brand of trolling, this morning, she called in to the Today Show to clear everything up. She tried to spin it as really quite a funny social media story: “Twitter is very, very interesting, because there are people who love it when you joke, and there are people who take you seriously and don’t have a clue.” Preach, Martha.

In case she still wasn’t clear on the process, the Today team informed her that no, the Geniuses don’t make house calls. “I was just joking! Of course I know that. I’ve been in Apple Stores,” retorted a very huffy Ms. Stewart. Did she mention that Steve Jobs gave her the iPad personally, by the way?

As for the bit about pissing off Apple PR, she played it off: “Oh my staff was very upset with me, because we have such a great relationship with Apple,” she said. “They’re like you, they think I’m having a feud with Apple. I’m not having a feud with Apple.”

“So everything’s okay, Martha?” asked Al Roker. “Well, no–my iPad is broken!”

So if you see a frazzled personal assistant waiting at the Genius Bar with a DIY’d iPad case at 9 p.m. tonight, maybe give her a hug or something–she’s had a rough week.

Follow Kelly Faircloth on Twitter or via RSS. kfaircloth@observer.com