Quantify Your Kids

Sure Why Not: Let This High-Tech Sock Babysit Your Kid

Who needs a baby-sitter when you've got a Bluetooth?
Let's bounce, he'll be fine (Photo: OwletCare.com)

Let’s bounce, he’s got the sock on. He’ll be fine. (Photo: OwletCare.com)

The latest development in bodily quantification is sure to please helicopter parents and their deadbeat counterparts alike. It’s a baby bootie that watches your kid for you!

The so-called “smart sock” will monitor your precious dumpling’s sleep position, temperature, sleep quality, and even whether it rolls over. It transmits that information to you via Bluetooth, so that you can either leave it alone and hope for the best, or call the babysitter and berate her for daring to allow little Sebastian’s temperature to dip below 98.6.

The OwletCare website says the insufferable garment will make its users into “Super Mom[s].” The company encourages them to “print out weeks worth of your child’s health information” to “impress your pediatrician,” because we all know how much doctors love it when we insist the Internet is a substitute for years of med school.

Owlet has now met about 60 percent of its $100,000 fundraising goal, so be sure to head over and donate so that you, too, can be tricked into obsessing over your child’s sleep quality while trying to enjoy a dinner out.

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