Space the Final Frontier

Scientists Dismayed to Find Distinct Lack of Farts on Mars

Is there farts on Mars? No.
mars has no methane is there life on mars

Fresher than a baby’s bottom, apparently. (Photo: Nasa.gov)

Time for a bummer of intergalactic proportions: there probably isn’t life on Mars, not even in the form of microbes–because there’s no fart juice in the planet’s atmosphere.

Okay, “methane” is what nerds call it, but we here on Earth know it as the gas that is expelled in times of flatulence. 

Methane would serve as proof that microbes are chillin’ on the red planet, CNet reports, so the lack of it on Mars is “a setback in the search for life,” especially because plumes of methane reportedly emerged on the planet 10 years ago.

So now, not only do scientists have to make sense of the lack of the gas, they have to figure out how they screwed the pooch so hard in thinking they’d observed a ton of it in 2003. Way to go, guys, how hard is your job? Come on.

They aren’t giving up, though, CNet reports. The Curiosity Rover is continuing its mission anyway. So after the rover’s done and we can more-or-less definitively state that nobody lives on Mars, do we get a new space-themed Bowie single or what?

Follow Molly Mulshine on Twitter or via RSS. mmulshine@observer.com