Sometimes, when news is slow, Betabeat likes to imagine what the tech elite would be like should they appear on Bravo’s hugely successful reality TV franchise The Real Housewives. Would Sean Parker throw a glass at Zuck? Would Brit Morin flip her arts and crafts table in a fit of rosé rage? Will Elon Musk disappear for a few episodes only to return with noticeably puffier lips and smooth, baby-like skin?
Whatever the case, we know the Real Housewives of Silicon Valley would come up with some notorious taglines at the beginning of each show to rival those of their plasticine counterparts. Behold, the 10 that we’ve come up with, based on the actual taglines of Real Housewives characters.
All images via Getty
I'm a lady in the streets but a FavStar in the sheets
Marissa is my savior, Tumblr is my King and my body is sinful
Don't call me a princess, call me the CEO
Some people say DIY, I say D-I-Why Not
Soccer moms drive minivans, but this girl drives a Segway
I may be bald, but my empire keeps on growing
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me for my Klout score
I'm not here to make Facebook friends
Know your friends, show your cyberbullies the door.
I worked too hard for these followers to go home now.
I was born and raised in Silicon Valley, this is MY town.