There is only one discernible way to make flying more hellish, and Virgin Atlantic has just added it to its roster, alongside the purple mood lighting and ability to order beer via TV screen: the airline has introduced live stand-up comedy to select domestic U.K. flights.
According to The Telegraph, the Richard Branson-owned company is bringing live stand-up comedy and music to its fleet of flying tubes. Comedians en route to the Edinburgh Fringe Fest will be allowed to workshop their material on strangers trapped in tiny spaces with no room for their arms or legs to properly rest. Add bagpipes to the mix–that is, live music that pays homage to the “rich music scenes in Scotland and Manchester”–and we’re beginning to think this is all a plot to cause a surge in in-flight liquor purchases.
So, bagpipes and amateur comics unite to torture you, poor trapped passenger simply trying to get from London to Manchester, in a flying hellscape: and it only costs like, $300, round-trip.
Suddenly we’re nostalgic for the day when flying meant popping a Xanax and falling asleep to the in-flight showing of 13 Going on 30.