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Scientist Claims It’s Now Possible to Transplant Your Head Onto a Hotter Body

Nobody tell Amanda Bynes.
(Photo: Staytoonedin.com)

(Photo: Staytoonedin.com)

Are you so sick of yourself that you wish you could just chop off your head and sew it onto someone else’s body, preferably one that doesn’t possess an unfashionable set of boobs? Sergio Canavero, a neuroscientist at the Turin Advanced Neuromodulation Group, has some good news for you: according to a recent paper he wrote, dug up by Quartz, it may now be possible to successfully complete a human head transplant. Science!

Though scientists successfully transplanted a monkey head onto a second monkey body in the ’70s, connecting the spinal cord was too complicated, so the monkey was paralyzed from the head down. But with new advances in spinal cord surgery, Dr. Canavero claims that it should now be technically possible to connect a human head to a human body with minimal or no paralysis.

Of course, advances like this could be a true breakthrough for patients with spinal cord injuries hoping to regain mobility. But let’s not forget the real heroes this could help: shallow, aging rich people who just want their youthful bods back.

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