This Happened

If You’re a Raccoon, Don’t Attack Kevin Rose’s Dog Because He Will Destroy You

Disrupt raccoons.
The victim. (Photo: Hashgram)

The victim. (Photo: Hashgram)

Google Ventures partner and now Digg user Kevin Rose exhibited a textbook example of the fight-or-flight response this weekend when he attacked a raccoon he saw attacking his defenseless labradoodle–and it was all caught on camera to show off his manliness.

At around 1 a.m. Saturday, Mr. Rose had his pre-sleep tea nightcap disrupted when heard his pup Toaster “crying and yelping in pain” outside of his San Francisco apartment. He went outside to find that the raccoon and his dog were clawing each other up Bad Girls Club-style. He then jumped into action and tore the raccoon off the dog. Rivaling the theatrics of Monday Night Raw, security cameras recorded the tussle from multiple angles that ultimately ended with the raccoon flipping 360 degrees down a flight of stairs from Mr. Rose’s mighty hands.

To underscore Mr. Rose’s atmospheric boss-like levels, he uploaded the video to YouTube, posted a link to it on his Twitter account and pled for upvotes on Reddit. The Internet press tour continued on Leo Laporte’s tech podcast yesterday for 15 minutes, where he denied screaming like a girl.

Because Internet, someone has made the epic raccoon toss into a GIF and there’s already a “parody account” that rightfully deserves the same fate as the raccoon. The video has racked up 2.5 million views in just a few days, so if Mr. Rose wanted attention it worked. Here’s something we can all remember him for, instead of that humiliating BusinessWeek cover!

Despite some claw marks, Toaster is fine and Mr. Rose’s fame remains tinkling for another 15 minutes.

Follow Jordan Valinsky on Twitter or via RSS. jvalinsky@observer.com