Visiting Dignitaries

For His Next Tech Venture, Will Develop a Robotic Dancing Dog

Pure genius.


While walking through Harrods last November, “musician” and “tech investor” stumbled across a stuffed animal that was conveniently situated next to a MiFi and a speaker. That’s when inspiration struck.

“I took a day off, got the stuffed animal, ripped it apart, stuck the MiFi connector in its head, sewed it up, put the speaker in his belly, sewed it up, put a freakin’ iPhone in his mouth,” he told Wired. “It’s my prototype for the next product – we’re working to have it for Christmas.”

The new invention will look a lot like a robotic dog, but it will sing and dance and not just follow you around yapping at your ankles. He also wants it to have voice activation so he can tell it to cue up certain songs.

“I want this thing to rule my house,” Mr. Am added.

We’re imagining it looked like a 4th grade science project, but because his handlers treat him like a young prince, they were forced to tell him just how genius the whole thing is. “That frankenstein piece of shit will sell like hotcakes!”

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