Parker Parade

Sean Parker Says No, His Wedding Didn’t Wreck the Redwoods

"Nobody goes out of their way to get married in a redwood forest unless they really love redwood forests."
(Photo: Mobypicture.com, John Perry Barlow)

(Photo: Mobypicture.com, John Perry Barlow)

Like the proverbial knight in shining armor, Sean Parker is riding to the defense of his own wedding. In response to the charges that his event basically trashed a redwood forest in Big Sur, he wrote a heartfelt letter to the Atlantic, which originally uncovered the report alleging damages.

For starters? “First and foremost is that nobody goes out of their way to get married in a redwood forest unless they really love redwood forests.” He continues:

“Getting married beneath an old growth redwood tree has been a dream shared by me and my wife for a long time. We spent two years hiking redwood groves, both public and private, in order to locate the perfect spot for our wedding. We needed to find private land that had been previously developed (“disturbed land” in CCC vernacular) so that there would be minimal environmental impact.”

He goes on to explain that when they found it, the campsite had been paved with asphalt and was in generally pretty shitty condition, and in the long run they actually helped the site. Also, the Save the Redwoods League “consulted informally on the project from Day 1.” So there.

He also takes issue with the idea he should’ve secured permits, being just a humble hotel guest: “There was neither an obligation, contractual or otherwise, nor any legal way for me to apply for permits,” since he didn’t own the land. He further informs the Atlantic that he’s long been a devoted servant of Mother Nature: “Second, my foundation has only two primary missions, one is cancer research (specifically cancer immunotherapy), and the other is conservation.”

Finally, Mr. Parker is completely befuddled and, frankly, hurt that everyone finds this affair so extravagant. For one thing, the wedding didn’t even cost $9 million; they actually spent $4.5 million “prepping the site.” Duly noted. And for another:

Finally, you mention that what we did was “extravagant” yet none of the usual tasteless crap that rich people do at their weddings was present here — no ice sculptures, no caviar, no pop stars hired to sing their hits songs, etc. This is why your article and so many other articles have been so deeply offensive.

Sorry that those of us who have to decide which second cousins to cut from the guest list in order to pay for our weddings without taking out a home equity loan found your $4.5 million+ wedding “extravagant,” Sean. Won’t happen again.

Follow Kelly Faircloth on Twitter or via RSS. kfaircloth@observer.com