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Noted Sleep Advocate Arianna Huffington Recommends Not Reading the Sideboob Vertical in Bed

She's judging your Pretty Little Liars marathons on your iPad.
Worried about you.

Crossed arms indicates that she’s an expert.

Worried about your REM cycle, certified sleep expert Arianna Huffington is imploring you to ditch the electronics because it’s ruining your life. Speaking at the Aspen Ideas Festival, the Huffington Post founder said that iPads, Kindles and laptops should be banned from the bedroom because she believes that it’s preventing you from unwinding after a long day of aggregating.

After bragging that she only has “real books” in her bed, Ms. Huffington said she has eliminated electronics from her bedroom and that decision is “incontrovertible.” She continued to plead with the audience, insisting that scrolling through the Huffington Post app before you shut your eyes is doing more harm than good:

“The problems that people have sleeping, a lot of them are connected to screens. People are just on their screens up until the last moment. They wake up to go to the bathroom, and they immediately turn to their data, as if something major is going to happen… Do you keep devices by your bed when you go to sleep? I ask you, please, to never do that again.”

The Atlantic pulled up research that proves that artificial light emitting from those devices significantly lowered the levels of melatonin that damages your sideboob-centric dreams. Guess mother is always right.

Follow Jordan Valinsky on Twitter or via RSS. jvalinsky@observer.com