XXX in Tech

Gay Catholic Priests Are Just As Into Hookup Sites As You Are

More like psaldomy, am I right?
OTP of gay priests.

OTP of gay priests.

So, it turns out that gay Catholic priests have penises too! And their tiny bishops have urges and needs that not even higher beings can satisfy. But with the outdated sexuality shaming the church imposes on its members, it’s hard for gay priests to get laid.

A bitchy Italian news site Gloria outed a supposedly commonly used website called Venerabilis, a.k.a. Manhunt for clergymen.

The site describes it as a service for “aberrosexual” priests looking to “find contact among themselves, or homosexual laity can meet like-minded priests.” That’s quite the long-winded of saying they want to indulge in a Real Housewives of New Jersey marathon.

After signing up, users are given a personal page, along with an automatically generated ID for maximum secrecy. Priests schedule hook-ups during which those seeking “homosexual sexual contact” can connect. If they’re feeling exoticus, Venerabilis offers chat rooms in five languages.

News site Gloria, which can’t decide if it likes calling the sites’ members the “homo-mafia” or the “sodomite mafia” (the former flows better, FWIW), derided the alleged gay lobby members using Venerabilis:

Folks, don’t fool yourselves into believing this mafia is made up only of a few scattered bishops and maybe a cardinal or too. It is at least as widespead [sic] in the episcopate as it is in the regular clergy, and possibly even more so. Think about for a while.

We’re sure that they’ll mull it over all night long.

Follow Jordan Valinsky on Twitter or via RSS. jvalinsky@observer.com