Visiting Dignitaries

Address Your Thank You Letters to Richard Branson Because He’s Sending Justin Bieber to Space

Do the helmets come with spikes?
Stay up there. (Photo: Twitter.com)

Stay up there. (Photo: Twitter.com)

Out of ideas on who he can alienate on planet earth, Justin Bieber has volunteered to be shot into space for a suborbital flight on Virgin Galactic. Ginger-in-chief Richard Branson excitedly tweeted the news Wednesday announcing his diabolical plans on how he’s angling to rid the planet of the autotuned manchild.

“Great to hear @justinbieber & @scooterbraun are latest @virgingalactic future astronauts. Congrats, see you up there!,” tweeted Mr. Branson, reminding us that the requirements of becoming an astronaut is alarmingly low.¬†

Mr. Bieber (sorry, blame honorifics) will be joined with his manager on a future Virgin Galactic flight. The program, which costs $25,000 per ticket, skims the earth’s atmosphere to get to the destination faster since we know the Biebs can’t miss an opportunity to look garish at a basketball game at a moment’s notice.

The 19-year-old singer hasn’t commented on Twitter about his space vacation since he’s too busy focusing¬†on music, but Mr. Braun did exclaim “im going to space momma!!”

Can you guys bring Psy with you?

Follow Jordan Valinsky on Twitter or via RSS. jvalinsky@observer.com