Internet users are probably well-versed by now in the glory that is Amanda Bynes’s Twitter account. One hardly needs to spend a minute scrolling through her Twitter feed before encountering a booty call to Drake, a death threat to Perez Hilton or a topless selfie taken on a bathroom sink.
When it comes to obsessing over Ms. Bynes’ Twitter, it’s one thing to be an avid peruser, but it’s another thing entirely to earn the coveted retweet. We here at Betabeat have tried, so far to no avail. Now, for your convenience, we’ve scientifically analyzed Ms. Bynes’ Twitter feed and concisely determined what it takes to get noticed—and retweeted—by everyone’s favorite wayward celeb.
1) Help her insult people concerned for her mental health (because she’s not actually crazy, you guys):
Screw you, Lance Bass!
You too, Chrissy Teigen!
2) Create unique fan art by photoshopping her face into unlikely places:
She’s all over Times Square!
She’s the Virgin Mary!
She’s…whatever this is.
3) Add cats, obviously:
4) Finally, it never hurts to profess your undying love—through text, or bad photoshopping. There’s nothing quite like knowing you’re the light of someone’s loins.