This Happened

Tech Writer Blames Technology For His Son Not Knowing How To Mail a Damn Letter

What?
An envelope.

An envelope.

Filling the news void that is Memorial Day, a ReadWrite contributor doxxed his son by revealing that the little jerk doesn’t know how to correctly fill out an envelope. Lamenting that he has a “smartphone, a tablet and a laptop,” in addition to knowing some “basic coding,” Brian Hall writes that his boy, who is hours away from graduating high school, is missing a basic life skill most of us pick up before entering double digits.

Mr. Hall learned of this distressing educational gap when he told junior to write graduation announcements to extended family members, only to discover that he might as well have asked drunk Amanda Bynes. First he put the mailing address in the top right and the stamp on the left side,completely skipping the return address. Then he fucked it up a few more times before eventually accomplishing the simple task with a helping hand from his father.

Mr. Hall writes that technology is obviously the culprit here and the United States Postal Service’s website isn’t doing much to help our stupid generation. The site’s FAQ doesn’t include how to fill out an envelope, though the first Google result on the topic points to an elementary school’s explanation. That’s servicey enough!

Maybe it’s just a sign of the times, though:

Perhaps it’s too late for letter writing, though. If my son could get this far without knowing how to mail a letter, I fear the writing is already on the wall. If not on the envelope.

How about just throwing an envelope into the ocean, Gob-style?

Follow Jordan Valinsky on Twitter or via RSS. jvalinsky@observer.com