shameless rumormongering

Rumor Roundup: Betabeat Becomes a Bunch of Glassholes, Prince Harry Hails a Hailo and Zuck Celebrates a Bday

BB bb (Photo: Instagram)

BB bb (Photo: Instagram)

Glasshole Missed Connection Betabeat finally had the distinct pleasure of trying the dorky looking face computer we love to mock so much at a party last night at Meetup HQ. We (only slightly drunkenly) approached a tall white dude donning Google Glass and timidly asked if we might be able to try it on. When we slipped on the device (in slate!), the display was incredibly blurry–not due to our eyesight, but because Glass specifically calibrates to the wearer’s eye. It was hard as hell to see, but the voice commands worked almost seamlessly, impressive since we were at a loud party.

The device’s functionality is fairly limited: you can take a picture, record video and get directions to and from places. It also has the added benefit of making you look like a complete dork while somehow also attracting swaths of attractive ladies to get up real close to your face.

As it turns out, the Glasshole bro developed a crush on a Betabeat acquaintance, but even his face computer couldn’t help him remember her name or even what she looked like. Instead, knowing only where she worked, he sent a LinkedIn message to a coworker he thought was her, but nope. (They do have the same hair color.) The coworker then forwarded his picture around the office asking if anyone had met him the night prior and wanted to date him. In the picture, he was wearing Glass.

A source also tells Betabeat that the Glass-wearing dude is working on a facial recognition app for the device that would take a person’s picture and tell the wearer what their name is. You do you, Mr. Glasshole, but you might want to get on that one sooner rather than later.

Royal Joyriding  Important update in the Yellow Cab Wars: Here is a photo of Prince Harry (you know, the hot one) getting a personal demo from Hailo’s cofounder:

Breakfast Breakup If you make a breakfast date with Ben Lerer, don’t you dare stand him up. Mr. Lerer tweeted that he had early morning breakfast plans with Gawker publisher Nick Denton (at Balthazar, we assume?), but that the media mogul failed to show. Perhaps Mr. Denton was getting a head start on wedding planning.

What Is… Eyeroll Jeopardy does its best to related to the youngs during its college editions. As such, Wednesday’s episode featured a category called “Yo-lo,” as well as an entire column devoted to “Techie Dropouts.” Tech familiars name-checked in that round included Kevin RoseDavid Karp and Mark Zuckerberg. Aaron Swartz was the $2,000 answer.

(Photo: Tumblr)

(Photo: Tumblr)

A Meetup for Meetups Last night, we climbed an interminable number of stairs to reach the rooftop where Meetup was holding a celebration for its 100 millionth RSVP. We arrived to find hotdogs, plentiful kegs and even a tiny lawn made of AstroTurf. Musical accompaniment was provided by (what else?) a local bluegrass Meetup.

Among the crowd we spotted Laughing Squid’s Scott Beale in conversation with man-about-town Rex Sorgatz, Branch’s Josh Miller chowing down on a hot dog, and Small Girl Mallory Blair working the crowd. Lindsay Kaplan and Richard Blakely, Baratunde Thurston, Chris Kennedy and Kickstarter’s Fred Benenson also turned out.

“Meetup got started when there were two towers over there. Now there’s one tower going 1776 feet in the air. And Meetup wouldn’t be here if that tragedy didn’t happen,” said founder Scott Heiferman, standing up to extemporize a few remarks. “The worst things happen when people meet up. But thankfully, more often, the best things happen in life when people meet up.”

As we rode the Gilded Age elevator back downstairs later that evening, several people pulled out their phones to check their Hailo reservations. “I Hailo’d three times today,” one said proudly.

Wedding Bells Last weekend, at a ranch in Glen Ellen, California, New York Times columnist David Pogue married his longtime girlfriend, PR pro Nicole Vosshall Dugan. No word whether the vows included a brief but tasteful disclosure.

Mistaken identity Recently, one Betabeat reporter found herself in her umpteenth conversation about Lean In. A male developer frowned and announced, befuddled: “Oh, I thought that was a lean startup book.” So, there’s that.

We’re Puking. Here’s a cool glimpse of what they’re serving up in Hell, er Silicon Valley: Angry Bird-themed sushi rolls! Much to Selina Meyer’s relief, it isn’t a fine Finnish import and it’s not made of real birds– just fake fish. We don’t know what tastes more depressing: the Angry Birds II roll (filled with mango, torched salmon, and “special sauces”) or the OMG roll that contains a spring mix salad and torched white tuna. What’s worse is that the ginger is probably served room temperature.

Better than a “I’m With Stupid” mug. Oh, ha ha. Look at Jack “the Jokester” Dorsey everyone! The personified short-circuiting Twitter feed joked that he was giving arch nemesis Mark Zuckerberg one of his snazzy new Square stands for his “hoodie business.” It’s a joke because the Facebook CEO wears a lot of hoodies! The animated interaction happened on Twitter, a website that Mr. Zuckerberg (née @finkd) hasn’t used since 2012. We really need to figuring out a neutral platform for these two nerds to troll each other on. Reddit?