There are few things sadder than watching an Internet star try to recapture their fleeting fame by starring in a forced “viral” video. Jonah Falcon, the dude with the world’s biggest schlong (13.5 inches erect!), is the newest online “celeb” to fall for this gimmick. The financially struggling Mr. Falcon has released a video called “It’s Too Big,” a three-minute opus that’s not about his massive debt, but rather his massive dick.
Large penis enthusiast news website The Huffington Post reports the video was created with Adam Barta, a horrible person who makes novelty videos for visual content farm “YouTube.” He probably makes a fair amount from that gig, so think about that as you sob your way to the office this Monday morning.
The tawdry video not only proves that Mr. Bart’s iLife programs are up-to-date, but also includes some groan-inducing (not that way) lyrics like, “It looks so huge, that giant bulge in you, a fantasy come true” and, of course, “it’s too damn big” on repeat. All it needs is a hashtag in the title to make it truly insufferable.
Here’s the video below, if you can, uh, handle it.