video killed the video star

Dear Startup People: Leave Music to the Musicians

Not all of us can be John Lennon, and that's okay!
Please, please don't. (Photo: screencap)

Please, please don’t. (Photo: screencap)

At this point, it’s like shooting very large fish in a very small barrel to mock startup music videos. Everyone keeps doing them, and they’re always awful. But this latest installment from 500 Startups is probably–though it strains belief!–the worst yet.

We never thought we’d say this, but shouldn’t you guys be working on your pitch decks or something?

It’s bad enough that, by covering “Thrift Shop,” they have once again gone for the obvious, already exhausted viral hit of the moment. (Of course, we’reĀ longĀ past begging Silicon Valley to show some originality.) To make matters worse, no one in this video shows any evidence of excitement, much less musical talent. The chorus is so lifeless we’re forced to assume the singers were also swilling entire bottles of Nyquil at the time.

Also, way to rip off Adult Swim’s trademark title cards, merely to inform us that “it’s 500 motherfucking startups, we swear a lot here.”

Good for you, bros. Good for you.

Follow Kelly Faircloth on Twitter or via RSS. kfaircloth@observer.com