Cell your Soul

Microsoft’s New Ad: ‘Hey! Hey, Guys? We Make Phones Too’

Lowbrow, despicable.
Lumia lovers. (Photo: YouTube)

Lumia lovers. (Photo: YouTube)

Do you like weddings? Are you a fan of low-brow and uncivilized behavior? Do you also have an insatiable thirst for watching mobile operating systems battle it out for consumer hierarchy? Then you’re going to LOVE the new commercial for the Windows Phone. It combines all three of those things in an attempt to halt struggling sales.

In what feels like the 18th different ad campaign that Microsoft has launched to make you remember its phone still exists, the company released another new ad Monday that targets Apple and Samsung devotees. The one-minute spot begins at a wedding that obviously spirals out of control after a snarky (and probable Twitter parody account creator) iPhone owner asks a Samsung Galaxy user to move his “enormous” phone.

A massive fight breaks out between the #TeamiPhone and #TeamGalaxyribes as they brawl, punch and act insane, all in an effort to cater to America’s love of barbaric behavior. Amusing insults include “iSheep,” ageism barbs and a person calling the Galaxy a “copybox” owner because who isn’t a fan of international copyright infringement lawsuits.

Finally, we see wedding hall staff giggle into their hot dog condiment-colored devices, wondering if they should tell the guests that there is an alternative.

Poor Nokia Lumia. Always the help, never the bridesmaid.

Follow Jordan Valinsky on Twitter or via RSS. jvalinsky@observer.com