Path, the social networking app cofounded by Facebook mafioso Dave Morin, has a new commercial entitled, “Bringing People Closer Together.” But you’re gonna wanna keep your distance from the dweebazoids in this ad.
First there’s Todd, who is studying Japanese, taking flying lessons and searching for the perfect smiley sticker to fit his mood. Todd meets up with Sasha, who wants to “discuss his scifi novel about space root,” at Jack Dorsey’s favorite coffee shop Sightglass–just to round out the arc of insufferability.
The rest of the cast of characters includes Gerard (Gerard. Really?), who is drunk at the office and spamming everyone with “BURP” stickers. They bleep-bloop along at a vintage video game pace, doing things you’d never want to do and telling you all about it. With stickers.
Path is aware that ads are designed to get people to sign up for the app and not smite all smartphones with the fire of a thousand angry suns, right?