This Happened

Dolphins With ‘Knives or Pistols Fixed to Their Heads’ Now Freely Roving the High Seas

Maybe think twice before swimming in the Black Sea.
(Photo: Justin Gregg)

(Photo: Justin Gregg)

Oh, you’re afraid of sharks? How quaint of you. The newest sea monster sure to haunt your nightmares is smart as hell and has been trained by the Ukrainian military to wield dangerous weapons. Suddenly Jaws seems like a romcom.

“Dolphin scientist” (best job) Justin Gregg reports that three of the dolphins the Ukrainian Navy has been training to become killing machines just kind of swam off into the Black Sea this morning, supposedly in search of mates. Ukraine revived the program last year, which teaches dolphins how to target enemies with “special knives and pistols.”

We’re sure they’ll have great luck landing girlfriends, given how badass they probably look. Lady dolphins always fall for the bad boy dolphins, much to their parents’ chagrin.

(h/t The Atlantic)

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