Not pictured: the Cigarette Smoking Man. (Screencap)

Meanwhile, in Silicon Valley: The local CBS affiliate reports that a San Francisco man has captured video of mysterious lights zipping about the night sky. Well, The X Files did warn us that our alien colonizers would arrive on December 22, 2012. Maybe fans should have listened instead of spending our time wondering when Mulder and Scully would finally make out. 

CBS reports:

In the video, a series of lights fly in formation above the city before appearing to take a diamond shape and eventually disappearing.

There's a lot of "what the fuck"s happening in the background throughout.

The news team investigated, speaking to Bing Quock, the assistant planetarium director at the California Academy of Sciences. He ruled out several celestial causes--“It’s not a planet, it’s not a constellation, it’s not meteors, it’s not the moon"--and suggested it might've been "balloons, carrying lights. As for E.T.:

When asked if it could be some alien starship, Quock said, “That would not be my first guess, no.”

The videographer holds a different position: “I am 100 percent sure this was a UFO,” he told CBS. Well, yes, it was, in the sense that it was a flying object he could not identify. Also: “Absolutely, tequila was maybe an influence here."

Click through for video. Just remember, the truth is out there, and it's probably a weather balloon.  (It's always a weather balloon.)

UPDATED: Well, well. No sooner did we hit publish than we noticed this Gothamist report of "strange lights over Vanderbilt Avenue," in Brooklyn. According to a witness:

"There were three orbs glowing like fire and again flying in formation. Each of the three finally stopped at the same point in the sky, hovered, and then disappeared. They made no noise, however, several people in the street did notice and stopped to watch."

There's video:

"That's not no Chinese fucking lantern," a woman's voice says in the background. Indeed it's not. However, it may very well be the Geminids, a meteor shower expected to peak this week. Sorry, conspiracy theorists.