Apocalypse Not

Oh My God Shut Up About the World Ending Already, Says NASA

Rumors of the planet's demise have been greatly exaggerated.
6a00d83451c64169e20120a5cb338d970b 800wi Oh My God Shut Up About the World Ending Already, Says NASA

NOPE, ALL BULLSHIT.

We’re less than a month away from December 21, which some people genuinely still seem to believe will be the end of the world, as predicted by the Mayans. And so, NASA is spending the holiday season–a time when everyone ought to be sneaking nips of eggnog and picking out their ugliest season sweaters–making one last attempt to diffuse everyone’s paranoia.

What, Neil deGrasse Tyson, super scientist, wasn’t a respectable enough authority?

CNET reports that yesterday, the agency held a Google+ Hangout specifically to discuss rumor’s of the earth’s imminent demise. On the call were experts in asteroids and also an archaeoastronomer. All of them agreed: The world is not ending. There’ll be no wandering planets or rogue asteroids or boiling seas or shifting tectonic plates before the end of the month, so go right ahead and wrap those presents.

And actually, it sounds like all this is really starting to upset the agency’s resident astrobiologist:

“In particular I’m concerned about the young people who write to me and say that they are terribly afraid,” Morrison said in response to a question during a Google+ Hangout NASA held yesterday specifically to address 2012 apocalyptic hoaxes. “They can’t sleep, they can’t eat, some of them say they are contemplating suicide.”

Again: The world is not ending. Repeat: The world is not ending. Go back to your lives, citizens.

Follow Kelly Faircloth on Twitter or via RSS. kfaircloth@observer.com