The Future Will See You Now

In-Vitro Meat Will Soon Turn Us All Into Sexy, Sexy Cannibals

Bon appetite!
 In Vitro Meat Will Soon Turn Us All Into Sexy, Sexy Cannibals

Kinky. (Photo: iO9)

When last we checked in on the future of sex, transhumanists were bragging about longevity orgasms administered by cutting edge sex robots. Now, in-vitro meat–that is, meat grown in test tubes by applying a protein to animal muscle cells–may spice up our sex lives by providing a guilt-free way to dip into the sexier side of cannibalism.

Since growing in-vitro meat doesn’t require harming the animal, we could ostensibly feast on test tube meats created from exotic creatures like Komodo dragons. But in addition to helping create a healthier planet and accomplishing the impossible (successfully placating PETA), in-vitro meat could have some kinkier implications.

According to

Humans are animals, so every hipster will try cannibalism. Perhaps we’ll just eat people we don’t like, as author Iain M. Banks predicted in his short story, “The State of the Art” with diners feasting on “Stewed Idi Amin.” But I imagine passionate lovers literally eating each other, growing sausages from their co-mingled tissues overnight in tabletop appliances similar to bread-making machines. And of course, masturbatory gourmands will simply gobble their own meat.

Because nothing says “I love you” like gnawing on the scientifically-grown body part of your significant other. Happy Thanksgiving!

Follow Jessica Roy on Twitter or via RSS.