This Happened

Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Jugular: Famous Vampire Is On the Loose

Small-town sucker scare causes a run on garlic.
sava sava savanovic 21976407 852 638 Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Jugular: Famous Vampire Is On the Loose

Ew. This is him. So scary! (Photo: Fanpop)

Shortly after the vampiric masterpiece that is The Twilight Saga broadcast its final scene, a town council in the western Serbian town of Bajina Basta issued a warning to residents that a vampire may be on the loose. Alert your LARPing friends!

Sava Savanovic, a famous vampire who is said to live in an old watermill, feeding on the blood of anyone who comes near, may have decamped from his longtime compound after the watermill collapsed last week. Garlic sales have naturally skyrocketed since the vamp hit town, sparkling his way between meals of lusty grifters before moving on, stoically, like a one night stand.

Town representatives are understandably spooked: this is a rural Eastern European town, where vampire folklore has dominated the cultural narrative since the 17th century. Sava Savanovic is also the country’s most famous monster; before its collapse, tourists flocked daily to the mill, which its owners turned into a haunted sightseeing destination.

“People are worried,” the town’s Mayor, Miodrag Vujetic, told The Sun. “Everybody knows the legend of this vampire and the thought that he is now homeless and looking for somewhere else and possibly other victims is terrifying people. We are all frightened.”

The town council has warned residents to put a cross in every room and hang garlic on their doors and windows. Perhaps this is all an evil marketing ploy by the Big Garlic industry?

Sava Savanovic could not be reached for comment.

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