I mean, WTF.

Hot on the heels of the rumor that some terrible, unfeeling parents have named their newborn Hashtag comes the news that names from Cupertino are the latest thing. The parenting website BabyCenter has released stats on the popularity of various names among the parents registered on the site, and The Next Web reports that Apple has increased its popularity 15 percent as a girl's name. Siri (apparently a real Norwegian name) increased 5 percent. And among the lads, Mac jumped 12 percent.

Hang on--the littlest Yahoo's name is Macallister, which you'd presumably shorten to Mac. What are you up to, Marissa Mayer?

Assessing this year's results, BabyCenter editor in chief Linda Murray said: "What’s becoming more important to new parents is finding a name with meaning."

Perhaps that's why 50 Shades of Grey exerted even more influence on the list than did Cupertino. (Or, as BabyCenter's press release puts it: "It doesn’t get any hotter than this!") Grey is up 20 percent, Anastasia 10 percent. Ana (which we suppose is her nickname in the series) got a 35-spot bump.

The name Christian, however, actually lost ground. BabyCenter speculates: "While moms are physically attracted to Christian, they do not see him as a role model for their sons." No doubt.

We're just disappointed no one's going with accelerometer.