Disrupt This

Jack Dorsey Shills for the Important Cause of Disrupting Candy

Jack of all trades.
picture 4 Jack Dorsey Shills for the Important Cause of Disrupting Candy

(Photo: YouTube)

There are many industries worthy of large-scale disruption, including dry cleaning and the line at Shake Shack. But one crucial industry that Betabeat forgot to mention in our list of things we wish techies would disrupt? Candy. How could we forget?

According to All Things D, a coterie of celebrities–including bus-riding Square cofounder Jack Dorsey, model Gisele Bundchen and full-time Boston tour guide Matt Damon–have teamed up to sing the praises of a new candy company. Unreal Candy purports to be a natural, non-corn-syrup alternative to the gross chemical-laden stuff that somehow still tempts you every time you enter a bodega.

Many of the people in the video–Tom Brady, Mr. Damon, a doctor–are just local Boston people who can always be counted on for doing local Boston things, which makes sense given that Unreal Candy is a Boston-based business. But why did Mr. Dorsey decide to take time out of his busy schedule to rep for Unreal? Apparently, he truly believes in the disruptive power of all-natural candy.

“It tastes just like you are four years old,” exclaims Mr. Dorsey in the promo vid, who obviously did not grow up with parents who went to great lengths to convince him that fruit leather = candy.

Later, he proclaims, “Completely rethinking something we take for granted–those are the innovations I love seeing.”

Really, dude? Unreal isn’t a cancer-fighting research lab or a charity helping to bring clean drinking water to Africa. It’s a for-profit candy company that just doesn’t use corn syrup. And unfortunately, it’s probably going to take more than a delicious candy endorsed by Jason Bourne to fix America’s broken food system.

To be fair, we haven’t tried Unreal Candy yet. Perhaps it will turn all of America’s children into svelte geniuses. We shall wait and see.

Follow Jessica Roy on Twitter or via RSS. jroy@observer.com