We are under WAY TOO MUCH STRESS for this, Google.

It's been a nerve-wracking week here on the East Coast, which is just about the only explanation for the magnitude of the Twitter freakout when Gmail and Google Docs, just now, were mysteriously unavailable for literal minutes.

Here is a chronicle of the perilous episode:

Now let's all just thank God that those of us working remotely don't have to log back into our spam-choked Outlook inboxes. Better yet: Stop working.