Cover company. (Photo: Courtesy Bloomberg Businessweek)

Facebook has just reached its billionth monthly active user. On this momentous numerical occasion, the company has released its first "brand video," which Mark Zuckerberg promptly posted to his timeline.

Zuck describes the video as a solemn affair: "We honor the everyday things people have always made to bring us together."

The minute-and-a-half-long video, made by Portland-based ad agency Wieden & Kennedy*, that follows actually devotes 35 seconds to the virtues of chairs as social device. It then goes on to explain how these places to park your butt are just like Facebook, when you really think about it. Additional points of comparison: doorbells, airplanes, bridges.

Are you a little befuddled by that string of items and how they even remotely relate to Facebook? Well, Zuck's post attempts to explain:

These are all things that connect us.
And now Facebook is a part of this tradition of things that connect us too.

In a breath-taking display of grandiosity, the video closes by name-checking the vastness of the universe and suggesting, we kid you not, that "it is vast and dark and makes us wonder if we are alone; so maybe the reason we make all of these things is to remind ourselves that we are not." Nothing like a little reminder of your own crippling insignificance to sell few cupcakes.

The commercial comes on the same day as an all-out charm offensive, on the occasion of that billionth user. Besides appearing on "The Today Show" this morning, Zuck is prominently featured in the latest issue of Businessweek, where he informs us that Facebook will be celebrating with a hackathon and told the magazine that, "It’s really humbling to get a billion people to do anything."

Sure it is, Zuck. Sure it is.

*Originally this article misstated that Wieden + Kennedy is based in New York. Betabeat regrets the error.