This Happened

Everybody Panic: iPads Apparently Spurring Runaway Increase in Murse Ownership

Messenger bags as harbinger of modern civilization's decline.
 Everybody Panic: iPads Apparently Spurring Runaway Increase in Murse Ownership

This is what you look like with a messenger bag. (Photo: Taylor-Lautner.org)

We hate to exacerbate your case of the Mondays, but we have some terrible news: Murses–you know, purses, but for men?–are on the rise, mostly because everyone carries their iPads everywhere. Somehow we don’t think this is the world Steve Jobs envisioned for us.

In the good old days, men used to stuff their scant necessities like wallet and keys into deep denim pockets. Now–with the proliferation of tablets, laptops and gadgets–men are turning to “manbags” to store these crucial items. This is a cultural phenomenon unlike any we have seen before, and one we must surely protect our children from.

According to the Daily Mail, 4 in 5 men now carry a “manbag,” and they are making dudes effeminate. This is important because while women are expected to carry bags, men are not; iPads are completely subverting cultural norms, thus we should use this quick and dirty study as a telescope through which we can view our epicene future.

Dudes carrying bags around because they like to have their stuff with them is surely a sign of the impending apocalypse. This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a murse.

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