Dumb Smartphones

Blackberries Now So Embarrassing People are Hiding Them Under iPads

“BlackBerry users are like Myspace users. They probably still chat on AOL Instant Messenger.”
 Blackberries Now So Embarrassing People are Hiding Them Under iPads

(Photo: AFR)

If you’re not Beyonce and you’re still carrying around a Blackberry, chances are you are over 55, wear a three piece suit to work or–like a family itself–you are desperately beholden to a family plan from which there is no escape.

Where once we touted Blackberry Curves like prized possessions, obsessively BBMing friends and humblebragging about the jitters induced by that phantom blinking red light, we now cluck our tongues in derision at the behind-the-times fogies who dare to wield a device that isn’t an iPhone or Android.

Current Blackberry users have one bragging right that they wave like a sad white flag, despite the fact that their phones do not have apps and can barely access the Internet without shutting down: It’s that damn QWERTY keyboard. Once ubiquitous in the smartphone market, the physical button keyboard has largely been replaced by touchscreen phones designed to drive people with fat thumbs ever closer to the brink of insanity.

Between insanity and perpetual shame is exactly where Blackberry users hover these days, at least according to the New York Times:

“I’m ashamed of it,” said Ms. Crosby, a Los Angeles sales representative who said she had stopped pulling out her BlackBerry at cocktail parties and conferences. In meetings, she says she hides her BlackBerry beneath her iPad for fear clients will see it and judge her.

“I want to take a bat to it,” Ms. Crosby said, after waiting for her phone’s browser to load for the third minute, only to watch the battery die. “You can’t do anything with it. You’re supposed to, but it’s all a big lie.”

One man, who is of course a “musician” living in Los Angeles, drove the final knife through RIM’s cold, money-bleeding heart. “BlackBerry users are like Myspace users,” he told the Times. “They probably still chat on AOL Instant Messenger.”

We thought Blackberry’s power ballad, which proved the company and its products were more embarrassing than your Dad, would be the company’s ultimate source of shame. Turns out we were wrong.

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