Cable the Final Frontier

Time Warner Cable Welcomes Sir Patrick Stewart to Park Slope With Shitty Cable Service

Even Starfleet Captains hate Time Warner.
 Time Warner Cable Welcomes Sir Patrick Stewart to Park Slope With Shitty Cable Service

(Photo: Twitter)

Stars, they’re just like us! When confronted with the monumental annoyance of having to install Time Warner cable in their apartment, they, too, resort to nihilistic thinking. Thus is the case with Sir Patrick Stewart, famed Shakespearean actor and Star Trek star, who recently moved to Park Slope.

We assume he doesn’t live in a building equipped with Verizon Fios, because the actor has signed up for that dreaded, monstrous monopoly Time Warner Cable, notorious for having fewer stars on Yelp than cannibal murderer Jeffrey Dahmer.

Last night, Mr. Stewart tweeted the following lament, which demands to be read aloud in his deep British timber:

picture 11 Time Warner Cable Welcomes Sir Patrick Stewart to Park Slope With Shitty Cable ServiceSo far, over 600 people have retweeted it, so clearly Mr. Stewart’s frustration with the cable service has struck a chord. The support arm of Time Warner reached out to Mr. Stewart, but by then it was simply too late:

picture 23 Time Warner Cable Welcomes Sir Patrick Stewart to Park Slope With Shitty Cable Service

We like to imagine Mr. Stewart shouting at his computer, “This installation ends here!”

Engaging in a public Twitter spat with one of the city’s most hated companies? Congratulations, Mr. Stewart, you’re officially a New Yorker.

Update: Apparently Mr. Stewart isn’t the only Star Trek star to experience problems with Time Warner:

picture 33 Time Warner Cable Welcomes Sir Patrick Stewart to Park Slope With Shitty Cable Service

Update 2: Time Warner has provided Betabeat with the following (pretty amazing) statement:

“Our Care and Social Media teams are fully engaged to make sure he’s well tended to. On behalf of the many Trekkers and Sir Patrick Stewart fans across our company, I can assure you, we will make it so.”

Oh, and thanks to the Redditor who made this:

picture 41 Time Warner Cable Welcomes Sir Patrick Stewart to Park Slope With Shitty Cable Service

(Photo: Quickmeme)

Follow Jessica Roy on Twitter or via RSS. jroy@observer.com

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