Legal Burn

The Most Judge Judy-Like Lines from the Apple vs. Samsung Trial

Tech companies are taxing this woman's patience.
 The Most Judge Judy Like Lines from the Apple vs. Samsung Trial

She does not have time to play. (Photo: Wikipedia)

Throughout the seemingly interminable legal wrangling in the Apple vs. Samsung patent battle, we’ve enjoyed one thing in particular: The oh-snap stylings of Judge Lucy Koh.

Someone get this woman her own Court TV show, because she is killing it:

Perhaps most memorable was this mad-as-hell outburst:

“With the jury out of the courtroom, Koh laid into Apple, asking why it would present such a lengthy document ‘when unless you’re smoking crack you know these witnesses aren’t going to be called!'”

But that line was far from a one-off:

“We’re wasting the jury’s time,” she said. “You are being unreasonable.”

The eyeroll is implied.

It’s easy to visualize the angry, outstretched hand that accompanied this one:

“I don’t trust what any lawyer tells me in this courtroom. I want to see actual papers.”

Here she is, demanding a settlement:

“It’s time for peace.”

But she doesn’t even know why she bothers anymore:

“Koh continued to express hope for a settlement on Thursday, noting that she was perhaps ‘pathologically optimistic.'”

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