The Final Frontier

Earth Braces for Inevitable Martian Attack as NASA Prepares to Broadcast From Mars

Get thee to a bunker!
william Earth Braces for Inevitable Martian Attack as NASA Prepares to Broadcast From Mars

Aliens can’t even handle this. (Photo:

When one considers the ultimate symbol of American progress and invention, there is really only one person who comes to mind: Black Eyed Peas singer His sartorial savvy? Swoon-worthy. His talented vocal breadth? Impeccable. is not the hero America needs, but he is the one we deserve.

We can only imagine that this is why, during an educational initiative spearheaded by NASA that launches today at 4 p.m., the Curiosity Rover will broadcast a new single by called “Reach for the Stars,” natch. (Did we mention what a brilliant lyricist Mr. Am is?)

According to a NASA press release:

┬áNASA will hold an educational event to share findings about Mars with students and premiere a new song by musician that will be broadcast from the surface of the Red Planet via the Curiosity rover….Members of the team that successfully landed the rover on Mars earlier this month will explain to students the mission and the technology behind the song’s interplanetary transmission. will then premiere “Reach for the Stars,” a new composition about the singer’s passion for science, technology and space exploration.

We certainly identify with the pressing need to teach children about science, but how do you think extraterrestrial life will react when they hear the stylings of Mr. Am projected over the wires? Otherworldly beings aren’t prepared for such majesty. Whole alien civilizations could crumble when they realize that their native music could never compare to Mr. Am.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

(h/t Gawker)

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