Visiting Dignitaries

HBO’s Allison Williams Got Awkward on Stage at CollegeHumor’s Annual Offline Show

On the Internet, everyone acts like they're 13.
allisonwilliams joshruben HBOs Allison Williams Got Awkward on Stage at CollegeHumors Annual Offline Show

HBO Girls star Allison Williams, left, and CollegeHumor’s Josh Ruben. (Photo: Timothy Reilly for CollegeHumor)

A surprisingly diverse crowd showed up at The Gramercy Theater last night for the annual CollegeHumor Offline show. The audience was almost half female and included numerous fans significantly older than the site’s namesake demographic.

The content, however, was exactly what you’d expect if you’ve ever perused CollegeHumor for some sophomoric fun. The show featured a familiar crew—Jake Hurwitz and Amir Blumenfeld of the site’s most popular series, Jake & Amir, Elaine Carroll of Very Mary-Kate—delivering familiar punch lines, most to the effect of, “I put my dick in your Sprite.” CollegeHumor’s editor in chief Streeter Seidell opened the show with a few jokes about peeing himself and disliking farmer’s markets before assuring the audience that there were a lot more “cumming jokes” to look forward to. In that respect, the performers did not disappoint.

The highlight of the show was HBO’s “Girls” star Allison Williams, who, in a floral cocktail dress and stilettos looked indistinguishable from Marni, her prim-and-proper character on the show. Ms. Williams, of course, has reportedly been dating CollegeHumor and Notional founder Ricky Van Veen for some time now. A CollegeHumor representative declined to comment. However, the two are often spotted together at parties and recently appeared hand-in-hand in a video shot at Jakob Lodwick’s wedding.

“Tell me about your show because there’s a lot of sex and I don’t know if it’s simulated,” Gale Beggy, the CollegeHumor personality played by Josh Ruben in drag, asked.

“Gale, all of the sex is simulated,” Ms. Williams responded with good-natured exasperation. “It’s not a porn.”

Despite Ms. Williams’s background in improv (“All of my experience before Girls was live,” she told Betabeat after the show) the majority of her jokes fell painfully flat. When asked about her own beauty procedures, Ms. Williams first responded “This isn’t my face…I just got it,” before telling the audience that she uses “a lot of blood, a lot of cat urine,” and “your saliva, actually” to keep herself looking fresh.

Her exaggerated attempts at physical comedy—putting a hand on Mr. Ruben’s knee and constantly pushing up his stuffed chest—didn’t do her many favors, although the audience didn’t seem to mind. As Ms. Williams exited the stage, a voice from the crowd shouted, “nice legs.”

The show concluded with Jake & Amir, who gave the audience a list of ten first date ideas (three of which involved proposing marriage and one which involved a trip to Napa Valley) and ended with a freestyle rap about aardvark cum, featuring Hoodie Allen and a fully suited aardvark.

After the show, we spoke to Mr. Seidell, who, currently 29, has been married for almost a year. He laughed when we asked if he ever feels like he is outgrowing his audience. “It’s the Internet, so its hard to tell exactly how old they are, since everybody acts like they’re 13,” he said. “We always joke like, ‘Oh, do you get fired when you’re 30?’ And the first of us just turned 30, so we’ll find out I guess.”

When asked about the funniest thing he’s seen on the Internet lately, Mr. Seidell had to think. “I literally see thousands of funny things online each day,” he explained, adding, “I don’t want to give a bad answer.”

He proceeded to recount a video featuring an Olympic gymnast perfectly landing a vaulting pass where in the background you can see the judge’s jaw drop, before conceding, “That’s not really that funny, I guess. Honestly, the thing I probably laughed the hardest at was a gif of a cat falling off a counter, so that would be, sadly, what I think is the funniest.”

We turned the question around to Ms. Williams, who barely hesitated. “I like any video of a person who just had dental surgery,” she offered enthusiastically. “And I’ve watched a lot of them lately.”