These guys want to help. Really.

Will your Internet suddenly vanish on Monday, July 9? Will you click on that new cute kitten video only to see full-blown failure, white noise, an Indian head placard, as the vicious "Alureon/DNSChanger bot" takes its final victims down in a mini-Webageddon? No, probably not.

Yes, as of 12:01 a.m. on July 9 the FBI will remove its phalanx of protective servers that have been keeping still-infected computers safely online. However the panic over the possibility of losing Internet access is probably, at this point, out-of-proportion to the actual level of infection. In the United States the number of still-infected computers runs in the 100s of thousands. Out of hundreds of millions of computers. Think about those odds for a moment--chances are excellent you are not among the infected, the unclean.

Still, if yours is one of those rare computers under the thrall of the virus concocted by Estonian cybercriminals  in 2011 (most of whom are now incarcerated), we're happy to inform you one more time that you can fix the problem. The page linked in the preceding sentence will point users to a wealth of tools that can assist in cleansing your porn and cat video-viewing box of the doomsday bug.

Safe journeys, you few thousand unfortunates.